Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I'm wearing a shoe string for a belt

Yup. No belt, just a shoe string. Its grey, and held in place with a bow knot, the same way a shoestring should be tied, except of course that it's around my waist instead of on my shoe. In all honesty, this isn't actually all that uncommon for me; it used to happen a lot when I biked to work on a regular basis. I'd be bound to forget a belt occasionaly, and make do by pulling a shoe lace out of my running shoes. I never tuck my shirt in at work, so no one is the wiser.

It's become a regular thing though; today, yesterday, and all of last week. Ok, actually its been everyday...for the last three months. This, like many things these days, goes back to having my house burglarized earlier in the summer. Included in the strange list of things stolen was my old pair of ratty cut off khakis, of which my belt had been currently attached.

Some of you may be aware of the sophisticated belt matching system I use to make sure that I am on top of all the latest fashion trends. The matrix below can explain the intricisities of it.

Shirt      Pants      Shoes        Belt
White      Black      Black  =>   Black
White      Brown      Brown  =>   Black
White      Brown      Black  =>   Black
White      Black      Brown   =>   Black
Dark       Black      Brown  =>   Black
Dark       Black      Black  =>   Black
Dark       Brown      Black  =>   Black
Dark       Brown      Black  =>   Black
Pink       Yellow    Red    =>   Black

As a result of this system, I only own one belt. It's black. Eventually, after a couple of years, the polish will start to come off, and brown spots will start to show. I'll ignore the spots for a while, but at some point I'll put the belt on with my suit and realize, that even by my standards, the belt has reached the end of its life span. When that happens, I'll go a discount store, TJ Max or Ross, or something along those lines, and buy a new belt. It will also be black. The cycle continues, and all is balanced in the universe.

At first, after my sudden beltlessness, I didn't buy a new one simply due to convenience. Usually I would have had time to prepare, and work my way up to the idea of going belt shopping. This time, though, I was caught completely off guard, and didn't even realize I was without one unitl I was getting ready to go to work. I also had many other more important concerns to take care of at the time, like getting new climbing gear. Later, it was more of a matter of spite, which then turned to stubborness. You can take my belt, but you can never take my freedom. What makes it worse, is that my belt had been on the verge of retirement, and I probably would have already gotten a new one by this time, even if it hadn't stolen.

Anway, here I am, three months later, still wearing a shoestring. I'll admit, its not quite as useful as a real belt, but it gets the job done. I am worried though, that I'll find myself needing to dress up, and not have a belt on hand. Oh well, if that happens, I can always grab a BLACK shoelass off my cleats.


Blogger Frick said...

Actually, I was thinking of something more along the lines of a rope. Although, a chain belt could be neat for special occasions.

12:43 PM  

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